A different state of things...

Written on 3:38 PM by William

I’ve really only had a couple moments in my life where I have been awestruck by the amount of change that surrounds me.  And of those moments is sitting here in the middle of Paris, France, surrounded by new people in my new home, with my new bed, and my new computer, confused by the new language, and foods, and even by the way dates and times are written.  Its all very… different.  I know that we are oft surrounded by the “winds” of change that are caused by the “sands” of time, but it always seems to be so subtle that it rarely registers to our doped out brains through the marijuana of familiarity.  Yet, here at this moment, after diving into a pool of change head first, I can see it so clearly it truly frightens me.

Now let me just say that I have never been one that is scared of deviation.  I have lived with and without a father for parts of my life, whether or not they are truly the man was my true father, he was always good to me, and worked as a figure of such.  I have lived in many places as well, changing schools, on average, every 2 years of my student life.  It was in this way I learned to make friends fast and ferociously as I was destined to be without them and they without me in only a short time.  Looking back I don’t know if leaving them affected them very much, or if even sharing those moments with them affected them, but I do know that I can remember every one of my good friends and it will always be that way; These people had a profound impact on who I am today.  Getting back to me not being one scared of change, I always saw it as something that could get me away from the things I did not like of wherever I was.  I was never a popular kid, neither was I unpopular, but as with any child who joins a school from an outside source, there are going to be those that do not like you; that is why I would look forward to a new situation.

Anyway, that is really all the background you need for me to explain my current captivated condition on the existing circumstances of change (lets just say that after reading that sentence, the alliteration was not intended, except maybe by my Freudian super-ego).

Now I merely want to comment on the state of circumstances that I am surrounded by.  In addition to those things I opened with I have seen the leaving of what some call the empirical president, and the arrival of what some call the socialist president.  What’s odd is that both of these titles are equally bad, and both of these titles come from the adverse side of the argument over these men.  This seems interesting to me, and says a lot about the true power of our president.  But I digress.  What I really want to point out is that I am in this new state of mind, seeing the ephemeral love of one and the arrival of another.  I haven’t talked to my closest friend in a very long time, and I have made new ones since.  Its as if those who really know me, no longer want to be near me.  I don’t know if this really is a fault of mine, but I do blame myself.  Maybe the whim of transplanting myself has worked out for the best, as now I can escape from this sense of isolation.  I am not saying I am alone, as others surround me, but I am quite separate from the better parts of me.

I don’t know where I am really going with this… but that is what I wanted to say.

If you enjoyed this post Subscribe to our feed